6 months

Another month has passed and I can't believe once again that as of today he has been gone for 6 months. The pain has not decreased any but the anger has subsided somewhat. Anger for him leaving me , anger at myself for not saying everything I wanted to him. He didn't want to talk about anything it was for him knowing that our life was coming to an end and he didn't want to face it. Towards the end I honestly don't know how much he understood but I should have said it but he would get too upset anytime I started to talk about "what if's" and "when" certain things take place.
I still yell at him when things take place like this week Steph's car broke down, the furnace was out for 4 days and other things that I'm just mad because he's not here to help me out. If nothing else just to be my sounding board. We had a great relationship just for that, we might not have liked the other one said but we knew we could vent to the other one and 5 minutes later everything would be like nothing happened.
This time has been fast forward and I prayed for that because in the beginning the pain was so unbearable I just wanted to do something drastic because I missed him so much. I knew I couldn't because I have 3 beautiful girls that needed me even when they think they don't.
Not a day passes by that I don't think about him, see his goofy smile when he's trying to be a dork or the last and most precious time we had together. Right now I'm having a lot of sad memories because come Feb. 15th is the 1st day he finally admitted that something was wrong and March 10th is when the Dr. called and gave us the news. 1 yr. WOW... it has been a roller coaster ride that I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Time is moving by fast but never fast enough when you are dealing with missing someone that you know is never coming back to you. I am trying to "move on" but I will always have him in my heart.