Father's Day

Tomorrow everyone will celebrate father's day. A day that I have thought of so many days ahead and wondered how the girls were going to deal without having their dad. Surprisingly Stephanie wants to get something and put out at his spot. I say that because up until now she didn't want to talk about him at all. Amanda is suppose to work but was just told she changed her plans because she wants to do something. Then there's Jess who said she wants to pretend it's not a holiday at all. My heart breaks for them. I have hurt so much and miss him so much for my own reasons but days like these along, with missing graduations, future marriages, births and etc. are going to be so hard on them. I hope they know even though he is not here with them he is in spirit. He is standing right beside them what ever they do and smiling that smile he had. The tilt of the head and a crooked smile because he didn't like to show his teeth. Oh how I miss him. My heart, my soul he was my love. I wish for the girls to remember on this father's day all the memories they had with through their life. They can hold onto those and know in time Father's day is still a positive thing because after all; without him we would not have had them.

Memorial Day

The days have been filled with an empty heart knowing that he is gone. Now the time has come that we give thanks for those who served our country or those that we have loss. Today is just a memory , 1 more day that is a reminder that he is gone and is not coming back. There are days when I stare out the window and hear his voice calling out my name "Shannon Frances" because I have done something that tickled him or I'm in trouble or I picture him coming down the road from his long trip away from home. Wishing it was some job that has taken him away from us for months at a time. How I wish that was really the case.
Knowing that this is not the case brings me back to reality and an empty heart again. THEN I remember if it wasn't for his heart and his love that we would not have 3 beautiful girls to continue to keep me on my toes. Each one has so many of his personality that at times I just shake me head because it would be the same thing he would have done or said.
So, on Memorial Day this year I thanked the Soldiers, I missed my departed and I thanked God for giving life of 3 children that are so much like their father.
The saying time heals the pain I still don't find true I just find it fades it to the back ground.