Halloween

It's that time again. Been moody unsure why and then it hit me...rolling into the Holiday seasons. Sure there's other reasons but out of all the Holidays today; Halloween was Mick's favorite holiday. I would buy the candy , he would eat it then grumbling and growling I would make my way back to the store to purchase more candy for the trick or treaters. It became a tradition and I knew this would take place so I would start hiding the candy for the kids. He loved the candy and he ended up being great at passing out the candy. I think he enjoyed seeing the kids in costume more than I did.

So, here I sit and only thing I like about Halloween is the costumes, I hate passing out candy now because it wasn't my tradition and the routine is not there any longer. ;( Eventually maybe, just not now.

25TH Anniversary

July 3rd was our (would have been) 25th Anniversary. It's been a crazy weekend already because Pat is in the hospital. On the way to Church that morning I was doing good until I heard a new song from Ashley Perry "5 minutes". yes..the whole time I was listening to the words I thought this would be a song for the end of life and sure enough that's the way the song ended. Husband saying goodbye at bed side to his wife. Had me choked up. Composed myself as I met the in laws for Church and then once again "Be Not Afraid" was played and it all came rolling back. It's just those moments. I went to his grave and visited, talk and cryed and like usual I go away more at peace because I know he wants me to be happy and not sad. This day along with seeing a his favorite "Teddy bears" shirt that Steph gave him when he was sick was placed at his grave site: Worlds Best Dad... I didn't know she had placed that out there. All those days that he was sick you couldn't tear that teddy bear away and I still smile thinking about the time I grabbed the bear by his head and Mick told me not to be mean to his bear. ;) Soon 2 yr. Anniverrsary of him being gone will be here. Can't believe that it's been 2 yrs. I pray every day for God to make the days go fast and he's done a great job in doing so. Maybe one day I will find another reason for things to slow down again; but for now moving forward helps the pain of him being gone.

45th Birthday & Memorial Day

I haven't written in awhile. Anymore I write just to myself as a journal not knowing if anyone sees or really caring. There's many days I think of writing but decide not to trying to move on which I think I have done well but memories of him and missing him are always there. I always miss him more on special occassions, during times of LOL with going down memory lane and recently in this wonderful game of dating again. I have learned NO ONE has been like him. I'm not wanting another him but why isn't there men that know how to tell the truth and treat women like they should be. Call it old school if you will , I don't know but I think it's respect and he had that and alot more. Grant it he was a knuckle head about alot of things but the best man I've ever met.
His 45th birthday was Tuesday along with Jessica's 24th we are usually together, it really killed me that we weren't this year. It has become a normal thing for us to be a part now. Jess has her own life that she is now married and working full time and we just agreed to get together we she has time free. Although apart we both had same idea and recognized Mick that day. If he was here we would have had to have his favorite Red Velvet Cake... Jess got choice of place for dinner and he got the cake. ;) Now, here we are Memorial Day and still thinking and yearning for him. This week has been crazy of nothing but thinking of him.
No matter how my life moves on I will always think of him and will always love him we parted not by choice and maybe one day my heart will be at peace again.