I can't believe that it has been 1 year! My heart feels like there are a ton of bricks just laying on my chest. I was sitting in class today and felt that exact same feeling come over me the day he died. It would have been the moment they pulled him off of life support. We knew from that point that he was never coming back to us. False hope was always there before then but that; THAT made it real. My (our) life has not been the same without him. The saying 1 step forward, 2 steps back, well that is me. I have talks with him and make life decisions about moving on and then for some reason things happen and instead of moving forward without him I go 2 steps back and just want to crawl in the hole with him. If I hear time will heal all pain 1 MORE TIME I might have to put myself out of my mysery and choke the living daylights out of them.
So, here we are, alone , sad and miserable because I don't have the 1 person I want to be with. Praying to God to take me and bringing him back doesn't work so we'll have to take what he gives me.
For the most part I think the girls are doing well so lets pray that is correct and I will continue to pray for another speedy year. This way 1 more year under our belt and maybe then it won't hurt so bad.
Sincerely,
Shannon
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